Being on the outside looking in, is never a good place to be.
It is especially difficult on days like Mother’s Day, when you are not part of the group. The phenomenon reminds me of the cool kids table from junior high that doesn’t have a seat for us, and there might never be any room.
The cool kids are the target market for are the incessant email ads are for chocolate covered strawberries, the tv commercials for flowers or Hallmark movies. It is hard enough to not be part of the Mother group the other 364 days of the year, the spotlight today adds insult to injury.
If you do not have a great relationship with your Mother, or if you are not a Mother, your Mother just passed away, do not wish to be a Mother, you can not become a Mother or for whatever reason your invite did not come for the cool kids table, know there is room here.
Come sit with me, we need to stick together, and know there are many of us, I like to use the term The Others. It is not just a throwback term to the early 2000s ABC hit Lost, but when everyone but you can be a part of the Holiday we can not escape from.
My son’s school recently had Grandparents Day. Unfortunately, we do not have Grandparents that are in the area that can come to such events. So, my son stayed home with me and we watched a Comic book movie and then went to lunch. Having him to go to school where he would have to watch other children with their Grandparents seemed cruel and unusual. He doesn’t need to know about the phenomenon of The Others in the third grade just yet now does he?
Back in December when I outed myself that Christmas was a difficult Holiday for me, I hit post with great trepidation. I was worried I was going to get hate mail from the I live for Christmas crowd. I never thought I would get so much feedback and messages with those of you saying “same here” or “I thought I was the only one”? We aren’t, The Others are every where.
The Others need to unite and much like the Justice League or the Avengers. Yes, my son did make me watch Guardians of the Galaxy the other day, which got me thinking. A tribe is what you make of it. So what if one of the members can only say “ I am Groot”? At least they can all depend on each other and you know fight the bad guys while listening to 70s throwbacks songs.
We MUST make our own tribe. All the wishing, and forcing of the share pegs into the round holes will never make it right. So, let’s reclaim the Holidays, even the fake ones.
The more honest we can be with our feelings, the more honest we can be in all areas of life. We will no longer need to hide in things like food, drugs or shopping. The truth of the situation will not scare us or make us ashamed, it simply is our reality. We will be drawn to the right people, and our tribe will start to form.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” – Maya Angelou
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